| |
| |
|
Public Speaking Information |
|
|
|
The Porch Light* Method to Speaking Confidence
You know the feeling. Looking out at a sea of faces, you notice a few scowls, frowns, even droopy eyelids on some of your audience members. What are they thinking? Do they disagree with your points? Are they in a bad mood? Do they just not like YOU? You bend over backwards to win them over. You smile, establish eye contact. But the longer you speak the more hopeless you feel as you see your desperate attempts to please fall flat. At the end, feeling discouraged and anxious, you limp away. It doesn't have to be that way. By using a simple image--the porch light--you can give the same talk with such enthusiasm that scowls won't bother you. In fact, you may even be able to turn those frowns upside down! Remember going trick-or-treating as a child? You would carefully examine all the houses to determine which ones would yield the good "loot." Most likely, the brightly lit porches with elaborate Halloween decorations would have friendly, generous, confection-laden people behind the door. Also, you most likely skipped the houses with dark, unswept porches for their lack of promise. Imagine the faces of your audience members as porch lights. Some will be brightly "lit" with smiles and encouraging looks; others may appear uninviting. The trick is to speak into the spirit of the bright porch lights. Let in support from those who are encouraging you. Speak into the generosity of those porches that are lit, rather than into the perceived criticism of the uninviting ones. Does that mean you ignore the unlit porches? No. Instead of speaking from a panicky need to win them over, addresss the frowning faces with the same energy that you project toward the friendly faces. Easier said than done? Perhaps, but you can make it easier if you remember the following: 1. Negative expressions probably have nothing to do with you. People frown when they have a stomachache; they scowl when they're reliving a fight with their spouses; they drop off when they spent the night rocking a sick baby. Nine times out of ten, they had turned off their porch lights long before you walked in the room. 2. Usually far more porch lights are ON than off. Most people in your audience want you to succeed. But you can get so focused on forcing the negative ones to like you that you don't let in the support of those who already do! It's a shame when warm, supportive energy goes unused. Besides, if you speak appreciatively into the positive energy of the "on" porch lights, the "off" porch lights see the magic that's happening between you and your supporters. That's often all it takes to turn on lights all over the room. 3. Just because a person's porch light is off, it doesn't mean nobody's home. The person might just be concerned, anxious, or distracted. With a little more information or reassurance, that listener's porch light might come on more brightly than all the others. The next time you speak, remember the wisdom of your trick-or-treating days: Don't spend a lot of time on dark, uninviting porches. Instead, enjoy the warm light of the inviting ones. That's where you'll find the best treats. And, who knows? The grumpy neighbors peeking out from their dark windows may see your joy and decide to turn on their porch lights after all. * Based on an image mentioned in SPEAKING CIRCLES(R) Facilitator Training. The SPEAKING CIRCLE(R) method is a revolutionary new approach to increasing speaking confidence and charisma. To learn more, visit www.speakingcircles.com. About The Author Melissa Lewis turns traditional thinking about public speaking upside down to give people more comfort, confidence, and charisma in front of groups. She is a certified facilitator of SPEAKING CIRCLES(R), president-elect of the National Speakers Association Kansas City Chapter, and author of the soon-to-be-released book, Upside Down Speaking. For more information, call (913) 341-1241 or visit www.upsidedownspeaking.com. Melissa@upsidedownspeaking.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Public-Speaking - Google News |
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Public Speaking - How to Make Your Next Speech Count Along with the opening two minutes of a speech, the final part of a speech, known as a 'closer' is equally important. Research shows most people remember the closing remarks most. Dont Judge an Audience by its Stare Don't Prejudge A Situation: In the areas of emotions and feelings, it is important to avoid the natural human tendency to take situations at their face value no matter how practiced one is in making presentations.You May Be Surprised: Our emotions cause us to prejudge an audience, often in direct contradiction to the facts. Overcoming Your Fears of Public Speaking You're waiting your turn to make a speech, when suddenly you realize that your stomach is doing strange things and your mind is rapidly going blank. How do you handle this critical time period?In all of my speaking classes, students ask me how to handle public speaking nervousness, fears, jitters, anxieties - and the physical symptoms these feelings produce. Conversationally Speaking "Would you like to say a few words?" How many of us dread that request? The thought of speaking off the cuff can terrify even veteran speakers. But what about the ability to give a prepared speech and sound natural?As a speech coach, I see hundreds of people who are wedded to their words. SOS - Goal Setting .. How to Answer Questions Your Audience Will Ask In elementary school, most of us asked questions which were for purely informational purposes. A raise of the hand usually got the attention of the teacher and the question was treated matter-of-factly. Know Your Audience What is worse than wearing a tuxedo to an event when everyone else is attending in shorts?I have said the same thing over and over again: before you attend the event, get to know the audience. If the audience is not right for you, you may attend, but it is unlikely that you will gain any new business. Fear FearOf what am I afraid, you ask. Of myself, I answer. Choosing a Hot Keyword: Advice for Aspiring Public Speakers When choosing keywords, you'll want to stay away from using general terms like "speaker," for example. This will only leave you competing with stereo speakers for a top ten spot in a search engine like Google. How to Give a Speech Without Dying Two of the top fears of most people are dying and giving a speech. In fact, there is so much fear of public speaking, you might think that people regularly die while giving speeches. Opening Your Speech Imagine yourself at mission control; 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Speak!When the space shuttle blasts off - those first few seconds of lift are critical. It comprises a small portion of the total journey, yet if someone errors - they crash and burn. 12 Ways to be a Confident Public Speaker Speak from your heart. If you believe in what you say, than others need to hear it. Speak With E's Part 2 "Educate, Energize, Entertain, and provide an experience for your audience"1. Use the "Rule of 3. Demand Dignity in Public Speaking Training Mandy*, a bright, attractive professional woman, had a fear of speaking in front of groups. Recognizing that her feelings of vulnerability and self-consciousness were limiting her potential, she showed up for a presentation skills class filled with trepidation. What Makes A Great Presenter? Every day millions of people around the world make a presentation. Yet most of us who have been to meetings know that very few of those people are truly great. Executive Public Speaking for English as a Second Language (ESL) Public Speaking is a challenging skill. It is TOUGH! For some of you, it's probably the hardest thing you will ever do; and I can sympathize. The Little-Known Speechwriting Secrets That Won George W Bush The US Election He's been accused of "mangling the language, destroying its meaning by avoiding the use of verbs, twisting nouns into verbs, and endlessly repeating phrases until they become zombified" (Source:'Bush and Blair accused of mangling English' by Kate Kelland, Reuters.com. How To Start With Public Speaking I don't know how many books, articles, manuals and scripts have been written on that topic. But, I am sure that now there is one more. Pay Attention To Your Appearance! During the coffee break of one conference I attended, whispers and giggles could be heard within the conversations of small huddles of delegates. Without asking, I knew what they were all talking about because our little group were talking about the same thing. Start Conversations as Easily as You Start a Car Starting a car is easy. Put the key in, turn it, and the car starts.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2007 |
